I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
