I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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