Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
