You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
