She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize