Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
