I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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