I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
