I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
