So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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