i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
