The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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