george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
