Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
