he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
