Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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