Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
