I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
