His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
