Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
