I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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