What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
