No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
