The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
