eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
