Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
