I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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