something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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