are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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