did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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