it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
