dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
