She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
