No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
