I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
