He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
