I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
