it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
