Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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