yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
