Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
