Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
