That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
