Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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