i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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