I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
