You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
