Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've blown a few things in my day
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
