I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sober January is a disaster.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
