Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
