put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let's get the cat blown out
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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