pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
